Wednesday, April 16, 2014

A Study of Contrasts aka my Obsession with Adidas Slides

Tomorrow, thank effing god, it's supposed to be warm again, hopefully for an EXTENDED AMOUNT OF TIME, JERK WEATHER!!
So I'm for sure going to be wearing my Adidas slides and socks, ooooh la la, the footwear love of my life. 
People give me SO MUCH CRAP about wearing these, but I don't care, i love love love them. I love the combo.
"Why wear the ugliest, not even real shoe, ever made?", they say.
Here I will tell you my reasons.
It's all about **CONTRAST**

OK, so look at this beautiful dress below...
I would wear the hell out of that dress, it's gorgeous. But I would it pair it with my Adidas slides, you know why? Because it tempers the sweetness of the confection of a day-dress that this is.

I don't want to wear a cute pair of heels with this dress, above. it's too predictable. it's too neat. When things are all the same, it's boring. There is no opportunity for interest.

We love Contrasts in life, just think about how amazing COLD ice cream tastes topped with HOT fudge. ermahgerd.

Or this below is a perfect example, this floral dress is so innocent and ladylike, but with the leather jacket and ombre hair, it turns the preciousness of the dress on it's head and makes the whole look cool and new and way awesomer.

I love the athletic leg warmer that Prada made into a HIGH FASHION catwalk accessory.

ScarJo is pulling a PERF-Y contrast here, dressing down the ornate primness of her gown with the messy/beachy hair. So pretty. So interesting.

RI RI!!!!! QUEEN of the Contrast. LEGIT MENS SUITING but with Hyper-Feminine Red Lips & Nails! Yesssssss!

Another one that I love to rock frequently, *men's oxford broadcloth* shirtdresses. The pristine business-like essential MALENESS of that material, but made into the most womanly garment. Love.

Another of my personal favie contrasts is the plain ol' T-shirt with a SUPER over-the-top Statement Necklace. 

I mean just think if Sour Patch Kids were JUST sour, or JUST sweet.
 MIX IT UP!!! MIX IT UP!!
Take every opposite and THROW IT TOGETHER!!

Sunday, April 13, 2014

MTV Movie Awards 2014 BEST DRESSED

Ahhh, MTV. 

I remember watching "Lip Service" & the ORIGINAL "Real World" with freaking Eric Nies! It's different on MTV now I guess. But who cares, they had an Award Show Tonight & that means AWARDS SHOW FASHION, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOT!

Here's the best I saw tonight:

1. Jessica Alba
SLAY-FEST 2014. I have not seen the two-piece that is so *de rigueur* right now done with a strapless neckline. IT LOOKS GORGEOUS. I love the high waist flared skirt. The colors look beautiful on her skin. she looks like a DREAM! and she has 2 kids, YEAH HOT MOMS!

2. Lupita Nyong'o (My LOVE)
I love her. This dress is SO COOL!! I don't even know what is going on here. It reminds me of one of my art pieces, I just like the textures and the colors and the fit and length and silhouette is perfect. Blue shoes, hell yes.

3. Nicki Minaj
 At first I didn't even know who this was... NO FALSE LASHES... NO CONTOURING... NO CRAZY WIG... Nicki, you look so demure. She's such a beauty without all of that costume, even though I love costume, but It was a clutch play to leave it out for once and throw us a curve ball.

 4. Shailene Woodley
I just got a tweet that said, "HOW CAN YOU LIKE THIS DRESS IT LOOKS LIKE DIARRHEA !?" ha ha ha ha!!!
I think this is just a really cool, "Girl of the Future, that is a WARRIOR!" look. My husband said her legs look really weird, but us fashion people just know that Shailene is taking advantage of the Optical Illusion of these Awesome high waisted skater skirts that just make your legs look like STILTS and if you already have long legs... then you know, EVEN BETTER!

Monday, April 7, 2014

Detroit Zoo People Watching Palooza

Missy & I went to the zoo yesterday, and I was thrilled and amazed to see the diversity of the people that were there. 
When I think "Let's go to the zoo", I think of a Mom with Young Kids. 

But it's not that. There are all these kinds of people there, in every shape color and size, and I love it. Viva La Detroit Zoo. 

  • We saw large groups of young women, just hanging out, enjoying the sunshine.



  • Douche East-Sider couples on a "date"


  •  Regular ol Families


  •  Dad's with their kids in THESE PANTS:


  • and also DADs with their kids wearing these women's jeans! I swear! I saw it!



  • Beautiful moms in hijab


  •  Young hipster men by themselves


  •  Moms openly breastfeeding in the reptile house. 



  • Two youngish men just hanging out together looking at the Red Pandas


  •  Gangs of random unattended children running all over the place


  •  Twenty-something girls in Leggings as Pants with Uggs (vomit)


  •  Old people in awesome Vespa-looking rascal scooters


  •  Punk rock Parents looking bored, but you know they love it


  •  Co-Ed groups of teens going "OH MY GAWD!!! SQUEE!!" at everything


  •  Moms in double & triple strollers clogging up all the indoor exhibits

  • Groups of hillbilly looking people. hey, they need to see animals other than pigs, chickens & cows



  •  Type-A moms constantly berating their children


I just love it. I'm so happy that All of these Kinds of people enjoy the zoo, it's just so surprising and rad. 

Saturday, April 5, 2014

I want Beautiful Bags & I cannot Lie

One of my illest homies is looking for a satchel/bag for a gift for his lady. I thought, hmmmm, handbags aren't really my bag... I will obsess over dresses, & lipstick, & jewelry... But a handbag is something I feel like is more of a functional piece, and that made me sad for myself. it's like i'm a communist, or a robot:
*Robot Voice* "Handbag is for holding keys/cellphone/goldfish crackers/800 lipsticks ONLY"

WHY AM I NOT ENJOYING THE GORGEOUS HANDBAGS THAT ARE OUT THERE! SHAME ON ME!

So I looked and looked and looked and here's what I found!

1. The Issey Miyake Bao Bao Shoulder Bag

 OM Effing G, how cool is this thing!? It looks like something that Wyld Style from the LEGO movie would carry, and in my book that is a good thing. You can buy it here, it's a little on the pricey side $873.48 BUTTTTTTTT, IT'S SOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOL. Purchase here. 

2. Burberry's Checked Canvas Hobo Bag
 I literally abhor statusy logos, signature prints, etc etc, but I actually like this bag in and of itself. it's cute, functional, and subtle, I'm down with that. looks like it can hold a lot of stuff too. And so then you have the side bonus of the Housewives of Oakland County fawning over your bag at Neimie's on a saturday at Somerset. It's $595. Purchase here. 

3. Carven's Printed Patent Handbag
I freaking love this print. It is so incredibly dope! It's like what Megan Draper would carry on this upcoming season of MadMen (HOLY CRAP IT STARTS AGAIN APRIL 13). It's actually a good sized bag, you'll be able to see that when you follow the link and see it carried by the model with the full meter of thigh gap. It's $650. Check it out here.

4. Jerome Dreyfuss' Jojo Bag
I really hope this bag was named in homage to K-Ci & Jo Jo. Super cool design, that is a standout piece. This is a piece that people are going to come up to you & ask "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT GORGEOUS BAG!" Very novel print and color combos. It's $780 Purchase it here

JUST TO KEEP IT REAL.... 
I really need to up my bag game. I recently purchased this Steve Madden bag:

and I thought "OOOOh this is stylish!", it shall be my new bag, I will stop carrying my disgusting canvas carryalls, and carry this instead. 
But then my friends kept saying i looked like I was on the way to the Downtown Hoedown (not that there's anything wrong with that), and made fun of me to no end.... AND PLUS, it didn't give me the awesome FUNCTIONAL ACCESS that I get from this bad boy:
which i purchased in the LATE NINETIES!! I am not even kidding. 

I am so lame. Go buy a good bag, please. Be better than me. 

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

blindingly beautiful bronze

Thinking about colors and textures for Spring made me think of these gorgeous bronzes I've been seeing everywhere. I love a true bronze color. The warm tones of it compliment my skin (left side). If you're cooler toned a pewter would suit you nicely (right side).


Rich deep bronze reminds me of liquid gold disco dresses and this chick from Scarface:
It's so damn glamourous. You can't deny.

And then I saw Blake Lively in this custom-made Gucci:
and I was like, damn, i gotta get in on this.

I found this kick-ass dress by TopShop that's ONLY $75 bucks! I'm serious!
How awesome is that!? You can buy it here (click here)
it's super space-cadet pseudo futuristic-y, I just love it.

And then these shoes by Diesel..... I love the name they have too... The Klarisse:
You can get them here (click here)
Reminds me of Silence of the Lambs, and I'm sure when you're wearing these shoes, no one will call you "A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste."

I still love this "Skater Skirt" silhouette, and this skirt is so so dorbs:
I'd dress it down with leggings, boots, and a vintage V neck T, but that's just me. And I heard that it was only like $10 at Windsor Store, where I remember taking my exchange daughter to look at Prom dresses! omg, am I allowed to shop there?

For me the coup de grĂ¢ce is this bronze cuff:
When I first saw it, I thought it was just a random assortment of numbers, and I was like, "WHOA! COOL!" but I guess it's actually the first 500 digits of Pi... Seriously! You can buy it here (click here)
I just think it's cool looking with the kind of "DOS" old skool computer looking numbers. 

It would look SUPER COOL worn Wonder Woman style with one on each wrist!

But will Spring ever come?
if it ever EVER gets warm again, maybe I can rationalize making some of these Spring wardrobe purchases! DAMMMMMMITT! :-)