Monday, April 13, 2015

MTV Movie Awards 2015 Best Dressed!

Last night was the MTV Movie Awards!

Oh how I used to look forward to this show. I would watch it over and over, because MTV would play it incessantly after it's initial airing; just to wring the last drop of ratings out of it, or just to drive us to madness, who knows.

Amy Schumer hosted, a comedienne that I WANT TO LOVE, but i just can't. I am happy that she made out with Amber Rose:
but that's just because I'm all in favor of love... 
But seriously though, does two females kissing hold any shock value anymore? Remember when Madonna kissed Britney & Christina Aguilera? THAT WAS 12 YEARS AGO. yawn. 

At least Amy dressed mildly well:
she wore Balmain. The fashion people were neither impressed nor hateful:

But there were some definite *fashion* standouts! HERE'S THE BEST DRESSED of the MTV Movie Awards 2015!

Scarlett Johansson in a Zuhair Murad jumpsuit:
I love her. I think this jumpsuit is on-trend, very 1970s jet setter in Palm Beach. The colors are so lovely and springy, she's just glowing perfection. It also makes me want to start a worldwide petition for SOMEONE to make a jumpsuit to fit my 6 foot tall bod. SOMEONE MAKE ME ONE PLEASE! preferably out of gold lamé, k thx.

Bai Ling doing her WYLD 48 year old self in a *dragon/breast-plate/loin-cloth*
I hope she made this. I really hope that she has a subterranean lair where she's been coming up with these outstandingly non-boring Red Carpet ensembles for like 3 decades now. You want some VISUAL DELIGHT on your red carpet, you invite Miss Ling, she DOES NOT EVER DISAPPOINT EVER EVER EVER.

Emily Ratajkowski serving up *pseudo futuristic sex panther* in Fausto Puglisi
 This girl is gorgeous. How did her agent let her keep that name? Is she like the Princess of some Eastern Bloc kingdom or something? I love this dress because it looks like something that the people that Barbarella would visit on different planets would wear. Or like something the alien-vixens that Captain Kirk would seduce would be wearing before they submitted to his amorous gaze.

Holland Roden, in Caterina Gatta, who looks like she got lost on the way to brunch.
I like this kind of mod octagon print mini-dress. I would wear it everywhere, to the library, to pay my water bill, etc. I have her on this list because I love the dress and would wear it. But seriously when Bai Ling is 3 steps to your left with a life-size dragon draped over her, you need to realize you need to bring your sartorial A-game YOUNG LADY. Holland looks stunned and scared, and she's on the show "Teen Wolf" so I'll give her a pass, and then make her some cookies and tuck her in bed at 8pm.

Finally, Bella Thorne in Peter Pilotto:
I adore Peter Pilotto, SO MUCH FUN. it's like his motto must be: ABC - Always Be Colorful, and that also happens to be my motto for life. I own a lot of Peter Pilotto pieces, and like this one, they have crazy-ass prints and clashing colors and everything that makes my heart sing with joy. I even love the bizarre plastic paisley appliqués on this dress, GO HARD OR GO HOME. I'm sure right before he sewed those plastic pieces on he just stared at the dress and thought, "Ohhhhh!! it's so sad that this dress is so boring and I'm so boring! SAID NO ONE EVER!! Bwahahahhaha!"

YAY! It was so fun to see some Red Carpet Fashion in the Springtime!! muah muah!

Sunday, April 12, 2015

*Let's Play A Game* - 1990s Look? or Coachella 2015 Look?

I've been told by a clinician that I have the mental maturity level of a 17 year old.... But I am indeed 35, a full grown-ass woman. 

So in living with this dichotomy I DELIGHT in the re-spinning of fashion trends from my youth. Because in my mind, I am perpetually in the days of my youth, even though my youth was 20 years ago. LOL. 

The COACHELLA Music Festival is happening right now, 

and in flipping through the photos this morning I was dying laughing at how all the people at Coachella 2015 are dressed the same way I dressed to go to Lollapalooza in 1994. 

So I thought, let's play a game!!! In each couplet of photos below, one will be from Coachella 2015, and one will be from the 90s, WHICH DECADE DOES IT BETTER....

1. HMMMMMM FLOWER CROWN:
1990s Drew, I always wanted to be you, I think I still do. Check those eyebrows. Thank god my eyebrow hair grew back after plucking them into THAT oblivion. 

 Whatever, 2015 girls, way to just pick yours up at Forever 21:
They aren't even real flowers.

THE WINNER IS.... 1990s. 

2. Next; Candy Colored Hair:
This purple haired goddess:
 She is simultaneously "not giving any fucks" AND "not having it". She may be my spirit animal.

Or Kylie Jenner:
I'm going to issue a tie here. Because they may both be using Manic Panic and then that's just apples to apples. But Kylie being a Kardashian I want to make her lose, but that's just mean. 

3. Ok, Ripped up faded jeans:
1990s Janet, aka Perfection. 
 Or this beauty below:
I'm thinking that this lady above may be wearing Janet's jeans just cut into shorts so they both win. 

4. Basic White Girls
 Donna, Brenda & Kelly. Are they at a music festival? Or just in High School going to class?

The girl on the right definitely wants to be the Donna of her clique. 

I'm going to give the win to the 90s Basic White Girls solely based on Brenda's denim bustier

5. Bikini-top as clothing:
Being a former 90s supermodel, i have a astronomical bias toward my fellow catwalkers of that era. I'm not quite understanding the smallness of this yellow/butterfly-laden bikini top, but I know it was intentional, because all 1990s supermodels were created flawlessly in the lab from Weird Science

Chanel Iman is rocking the bikini look like a bowwwsssss:
and I'm loving the kimono and fanny pack accoutrements. 

I'm going to vote in favor of 2015 on this one!

6. Gold Bra as a top;
SJP damn girl, those abs are rocking.
My god, she has just been a stunner all of her life. Even way back on "Square Pegs". I love the SATC vibe of this outfit too. The highwaisted haremy pants are freaking amaze.

But Katy, i love your gold-chain-hoops so much, OMG!
 I'm a sucker for any chola-esque references. I think Katy is doing a very literal homage to 90s hip-hop here, it's so good. I think the only thing that would make this look better would be a stronger eyebrow.

Katy you win. Cholas always win. Hands down. 

The final verdict: 
it's a draw. Both time-frames do their best with what they are working with, because we all stand on the shoulders of who came before us, and that's what makes us all better. Build on the past and bring new touches of today to grow and blossom forever and ever. 
 Viva La 2015!
and 1994!!

Thursday, April 9, 2015

THANK THE LORD!! FLARED PANTS ARE BACK!!

 With my well-honed fashion telescope in place, I can see in our *stars* that FLARED PANTS, not "skinny" are in our FUTURE for SPRING!! Hallelujah!!

The celebs with their finger on the pulse of high-style are already wearing them, like:

Nicole Richie:

Olivia Palermo:

Gisele Bundchen:

I could not be happier. I've always loved the style of the 1970s.
I'm in love with every single one of the above people, and their car

Look how happy Farrah is. The high waist, the wide legs... it's so flattering, makes your legs look so long.

The skinny jean is/was in forever, and I have no idea why. I mean, Gisele rocked the hell out of them:

But I never thought skinny jeans worked with my physique.
I'm not being self-depricating, I know what you are thinking, "VANESSA YOU HAVE A 37 inch INSEAM". yes, yes i do. BUT I also have Wonder Woman-ish POWER QUADS, which have been affectionately nicknamed the "quadzillas".
Like Gabby, which is the most flattering comparison to give myself ever. LOL.

So my leg is shaped more like an exclamation mark:
Skinny jeans do not work with that well.

From an artists perspective, I like the balance of the flared leg pant:
AND THE HIGH WAIST!!

Remember the flared jeans we wore in the early 2000s?? with the SUPER LOW RISE??
LOL, I think I had these jeans. I remember purposely having to sit with my back to a wall at a restaurant so other patrons wouldn't see my entire ass.

The 2015 version is so much better, check these out:

Gucci did this bangin color combo trench and flare, it's so unapologetically 1970s:

And J.Brand has these fantastic high-rise "Bianca" jeans as seen on Jessica Alba:

And I know that quick-as-can-be GAP and Old Navy will be jumping on this bandwagon so there will be a pair of 1970s flares for all price points!

So what do you guys think? Are we loving the flare?

Or do we want to stick with the skinny-jean for LYFE?

hit me up and tell me what you think: readydressedgo@gmail.com, or on twitter @readydressedgo !! Muah muah Lovies!

Friday, March 6, 2015

Dolce & Gabbana - Mommies on the Runway

In case you didn't know, there is a high-level of snark & shade-throwing in the fashion blogging community.
For example, when Dolce & Gabbana did their show at Milan Fashion Week recently, a blogger tweeted, "Nothing says fashion more than a bunch of anorexic 15 year old models holding babies."

After seeing this, I did my research and found that all of the babies in this show are being held BY THEIR VERY OWN MOMMIES. Thin, Tall, Small-Framed women can be moms too.

Here is Bianca Balti, beautiful and glowing with her pregnant life-giving belly:

I felt like the *snarky blogger*'s statement that these models are "15 year old anorexics" is just another attack of women on women. ATTN: HUMANS COME IN A PLETHORA OF BODY HABITUS VARIETIES.

Saying that these women could not be mothers is just straight up discrimination AND MEAN.
Yes, "real women have curves" but "REAL WOMEN" are also athletically shaped (like Moi), some are more Endomorphic (all about that bass), and some are Olive-Oyl reedlike. And there are beautiful women that span every degree of this spectrum from end to end, showing how amazing genetics and human variation are.

So please, let's not be snarky haters and see a model walking the runway and immediately label her as having an eating disorder, that is not cool.
This woman is a mom, she has the same struggles as you and I. She's trying the best she can to do right by her children.

And wearing clothing just happens to be her job:
She's a working mom just like all of us; no matter if where we work is in the home or on Wall Street or for NASA or at McDonalds.
We're all in this world together, and lawd knows we will all have a better go at life if we cut out his *women on women* smack talking crap. We are smarter than this. Let's pull together, divide and CONQUER!

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Fundraiser for CURED at Posh Boutique this Saturday!

The ONE thing I love more than fashion is Kids. So whenever there's an opportunity to help Kids in any way I am all over that like 5 inch heels on a Tom Ford stiletto. 

A girlfriend of mine has these BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL SMART TALENTED kids that are going through life with Eosinophilic Disorders, and there is simply not enough funding for the research of treatment of this diagnosis. 

These Eosinophilic Disorders cause these sweet children pain, they limit the variety of food they can intake, and have effects on many areas of their lives, AND THIS NEEDS TO STOP RIGHT NOW!

So the Ladies Night Out Shopping Fundraiser was born!
now who doesn't like to shop?

and then when you shop, and IT'S BENEFITING the lives of young people, WHAT COULD BE BETTER!?

Posh Boutique has some adorable (and VERY well priced) stuff:

Check out these arm warmers! Only $16! can you believe it!?

and these dorbsies boots that I will be stomping around in all Spring! Only $46!

and this cross body, by Michigan based handbag designer Jenna Kator. How cute is this:
PLUS, they are made from VEGAN LEATHER and are completely cruelty-free. I luh dat. It's such a slouchy functional bag, this is honestly something everyone could use. And it's only $98 !!!

So please come join me, we'll have a glass of wine, I might braid your hair. And together let's raise money for Eosinophilic Disorders so that the brilliant minds of todays world can find a cure for this disorder and set those children FREE!

for more info: tweet me @readydressedgo or email me at readydressedgo@gmail.com

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Fabulous From the Front.... And the Back....

I love surprises... Give me a big reveal, I love it. Three ladies at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party wore gowns that look as outstanding coming, as going... Giving you a 360 degree treat of Sartorial Magic. 

Behati Prinsloo wore a Calvin Klein Collection slip dress:
This dress is so gorgeously simple, just a sheath of silk. She's a lady that radiates happiness and I feel that is shows in this gown. I love the simple neckline.

Then she turns around and reveals a luxurious open back. I can't even imagine how comfortable this would be to wear, let alone how lovely it looks.

I also adore this dress in her portrait taken at the soiree with her husband. It just shows less is more. I think it's really cool that photographer Mark Seliger did these gorgeous well lit shots.

Miranda Kerr showed up in this EVERYTHANG-LICIOUS Emilio Pucci:
Looking at her from this angle, you think, "WOW SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LADY EVER!"

and then her dress says, "wait wait wait... hold on there's more!!"
and then you pass out.

I don't think I could do these basically backless dresses. I like to wear a REAL bra. I always feel way too exposed if I have to wear some sort of non-normal breast harness, which would be required for these looks that show so much skin.

Talk about showing skin... check out Rita Ora in Donna Karan Atelier!
Rita is using the well-loved Starlet attention-grabbing ploy of basically being naked. 

Who is not going to put this in a magazine? Who is not going to click on the link that says, "see Rita Ora with her ass out!" it's like chum for visual sharks.

She does look lovely in her portrait from the Vanity Fair party by Mark Seliger. Her pose is *tres posey*, but she's young, she probably doesn't know better. Plus, she got her underwear-less hip spotlighted so MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

I do like the concept of a garment that is visually spectacular at every visible angle, it's like the excitement of fancy clothing never ends, you can just keep going around and around...