Thursday, October 30, 2014

Michigan's Great Artist

Hey Guys, I know this is completely shameless. But today is the last day for voting for "Michigan's Great Artist" contest, and I really want to win. Here's the link: (click here) 
Instructions below on this image:

I really want this Louis Vuitton Fall/Winter 2014/15 coat:
and the prize money should cover most of the price, LOL!! jk jk jk. I kid.

No, but wouldn't it be cool for a silly fashion blogger to be MICHIGAN'S GREAT ARTIST!?

I love you all.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Why "Dress Normal" ??

I saw this Gap campaign and I was just floored:


The thought of dressing normal has never crossed my mind.

The ad that I saw featured Elizabeth Moss:
Looking like the most *basic bitch* ever, and I thought, "oh my god, people aspire to this?" "Gap knows that this is going to sell clothes?"
Wow, what a sad state of affairs. The above look to me just looks like *I GAVE UP*.

It's hilarious because when I was working in a Neurological Clinic, and I knew i needed boring, wallpaper-blending clothes, the Gap is EXACTLY WHERE I WENT TO GET THEM.

To me, dressing for every day is one of my greatest joys. It's an opportunity to comb the little archive of clothing that I have amassed, and find something that makes me smile. I put that garment on and I just GLOW all day, my B.O. stinking up the 1970s polyester on my Pucci print dress...

I don't want to look like everyone else, I want to dress "like poetry", as Bill Cunningham described Anna Piaggi:

You wanna know why? Because it's FUN.

So when I saw this ad from the Gap "Dress Normal" campaign I almost vomited:
"get caught wearing the same thing" ??????? WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT THAT?

I'm truly floored by this concept. I love the Daphne Guinness' of the world:
I feel like clothing is an opportunity to use your body to create art.

What can dressing do for you?
-it can visually change the shape of your body
-it can inspire confidence in yourself
-it can help you create a character, whatever you desire (professional, pin-up, sporty spice, whatever)

So I don't understand why Gap would choose to run this campaign.
I did ask a friend of mine what he thought about this "dress normal" concept,
he's an ALL-AMERICAN RED-BLOODED MALE. I knew he'd have a different perspective.

He thought it was genius.

ForEVER, we've been told "wear these clothes to be sexy..." "wear these clothes to look like a businessman" "wear these clothes to be cool". FINALLY someone is just saying, WEAR CLOTHES, DRESS NORMAL.

Wow, clarity. I never thought of that. So it's really a campaign against all other clothing campaigns. **Well Played, Gap** <slow clap>

So I get it! I'm not saying everyone should be like me, and dress like an "Post-Punk/Art-Teacher/Circus-Clown". Some people just want to put garments on their body so they don't get arrested for indecent exposure and just call it a day. End of Story. Ok cool.

But one thing Gap didn't take into account was using Zosia Mamet in these Ads:
Thank you Gap, and you know I would complicate the shit out of it.

Buuuuuuuuuut, folks, let's look at Zosia's street style:

HOMEGIRL LOVES HERSELF SOME REDONKULOUS CRAZY-ASS CLOTHES. She's not going to complicate that jacket! She's going to BUY the jacket that IS COMPLICATED.

So whatever, my Loves.
If clothes are just skin-protectant textile covering for you, get your Normal Dressing on. But if you ever want to dabble in the transformative waters of ABNORMAL DRESSING contact me and I will show you how silly & wonderful & rewarding it can be. Scouts honor.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Fashion for Blessings

You guys, I'm participating in an AWESOME charity event this coming wednesday (the 15th) called:

Which is benefiting the *AHMAZING* organization "Blessings in a Backpack". What does Blessings in a Backpack do, you ask? (Here's the link to their site) They provide over-the-weekend meals to children in need in OUR COMMUNITY. How fantastic. You all have to come. Seriously.

If not to help the kids, but for the fashions as well (not that I'm calling you callous). The host boutique, *Bonnie & Clyde* has the CUTEST STUFF. And I went there to try on a bunch of things for you, that are so dorbs you'll just pass out. And just think YOUR SHOPPING IS HELPING FEED KIDS. That is the best rationalization I have EVER heard of!

Bonnie & Clyde carry the yoga apparel line *Alo*
 Here I'm wearing the "Harbor" jacket & the "Airbrush" capri. Missy is very bored. There yoga clothes are said to be "better than Lululemon". Since I don't wear Lululemon, nor do yoga right now, I can only tell you that these garments are COMFORTABLE AS HELL and that I would sit around all day drinking mimosas in them. *Seal of Approval*

Bonnie & Clyde also have some awesome *locally* gear:
 Like this totes-gangster Detroit Tigers track-jacket. There is something very quizzical written on the ceiling. This jacket is lovely, great for our current fall weather. If you travel in it, people will visually see you hail from Detroit and not mess with you, trust me.

I liked this shirt because I honestly am on a Champagne Diet, or would like to be.
I really want to get a matching set of these shirts for my friend Danielle and I, & then we can walk around with our little *bubbly splits* with no need to apologize for our behavior because our excuse it plainly printed across our chests. This will keep us out of future legal troubles.

The age old debate:
Reminds me of the last time I was in San Francisco & asked for a "pop", and there was a city-wide gasp of horror. It is POP, and I'm going to call it POP wherever i go, and I'd love to wear this shirt in New York City and have every single passerby on the sidewalk say something smart-ass-y to me. That is now on my Bucket List.

Last but not least.... DON'T WE ALL JUST NEED ONE OF THESE!?
It takes a lot of guts and moxie to navigate these mean streets. Just flip through the Clarkston News.

 Legend has it that N.W.A. was originally going to write about Clarkston... but several upstanding Clarkston Community members living in the City of the Village emailed *strongly worded* letters to N.W.A. and then went to the Village Bake Shop and talked *very angrily* about it over coffee & happy-face cookies.

Well, at least we get our T-SHIRT!! WOOT!

So please please please join me at Bonnie & Clyde boutique (7150 N Main St, Clarkston, MI 48346) on Wednesday the 15th from 7-9pm. AND LET'S RAISE SOME MONEY TO GET OUR SWEET STUDENTS FOOD. A portion of the proceeds from EVERY SALE is going directly to BLESSINGS IN A BACKPACK! PLUS, there's going to be food & alcohol!! What more could one desire!?

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Back in the Fashion Game with Black & White

I haven't gone shopping in ages... and for me "ages" is equivalent to about 6 weeks, the time of my joint replacement surgery. 
I finally am *sort of* able to dress myself (YAY), so I went over to Nordies Rack, and took a spin in some of the Black & White dresses which are so de rigueur right now:
Don't these girls look so delighted to be in such a stark color palette?

First was this one by Carven-
I love the ridic "Ladies who Lunch" 1950s vibe of it. It would look so awesome with a crinoline underneath! It had a back zip (thank you jesus) so I was able to get it on & off without inflaming the shit out of my shoulder.
I loved this. I'd rock it with leggings and boots, a little moto jacket to toughen it up. So dorbs.

Then this "Body-Con" one by BCBG-
Ew, this is a silhouette that I avoid like the plague, the bandage fit. I'm shuddering looking at this. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT!? We all need to take a step outside our comfort-zone from time to time, and here is me doing that.
There were a multitude of leather straps running across the upper back which tangled me in a spider-like web, and for a second there I knew I was going to have to call on the male fitting room attendant to get me out of this thing. But luckily the ENTIRE BOTTOM HALF unzips down to the hem so I could step out & was no longer netted like a dolphin in the sea.

Finished with this Kate Spade-
It's hard to read in the photo, but the little collar is gold *punk rock* studs!! omg this is so cute. The flared skirt is SUPER VOLUMINOUS and brings the "tough" collar down to cupcake territory.
I would belt the snot out of this thing to enhance the fit-and-flare look.
However this had a side zip (on the left) and buttons behind the neck. My poor little robot shoulder had had enough. As you can see, I'm totally hiking my entire left side of my body up to get that hand on my hip.
But I did it. and we SUFFER FOR FASHION. because it's FABULOUS.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Being Naked

Yesterday I saw this video on a friends FaceBook page, and *shockingly* to ME, most of the comments were along the lines of:

"OH JESUS!! <clutching pearls> this DON'T LOOK RIGHT TO ME!"

"My 82 year old mother would faint if she saw this!"

It's 2 thousand -fucking- 14, people. 

Maybe it's the effect of the people I hold near to me, but i haven't seen anyone blink an eye about human nudity or same-gender dance partners in decades.

I have two little kids, clothing is rarely in the equation in any situation if we aren't leaving the house
they are more comfortable going "Nudie Rudie", and plus that means less clothes for me to wash! HOLLA ATCHA GURL!!

Plus, I was a model:
backstage everyone was naked and running and changing, male & female, all together, everyone's everythings out, who cares. Speed was Key.

AND, i worked in a hospital:
i put EKG leads on patients all day, male & female. I was in and out of the Operating Rooms, Emergency Departments, etc. I saw more naked people than dressed people on a daily basis.

Why are people still offended/shocked by human nudity?

Don't we all get naked to shower?

are dangly bits still scary? Even to adults? or a better question is; why is it, that as we grow up we learn to fear our own bodies? As babies & kids we're fine being naked, but at some point humans decide that their own flesh without clothing is bad/evil/gross/onlyForSexPurposes. That's sad.

This is especially interesting considering the debates that have been going on over rules in schools banning yoga-pants, tank tops, etc.
 you can read about the banning of distracting yoga pants here (click here for article)

I'd love to hear what you all have to say about this. I have a daughter & a son, I also have a body, & a love for comfortable stretchy black pants. So I'm on so many sides of this debate, I don't even know where I stand.

But I guess what I want to say is everyone is, PLEASE CHILL OUT, if there is a video about beheading kittens, PLEASE BY ALL MEANS COMPLAIN, but if it's just a video of silly ladies and men doing awesome choreography sans clothing, shut your pie hole or never take a bath again YOU SHAMEFUL NAKED MOLE-RAT YOU.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Altuzarra for Target FULL REVIEW!

Oooooh I was so excited for today! The launch of Joseph Altuzarra's capsule collection for TARGET!   I decided as a public service I would try on everything and give you the low-down on all of these pieces. Let's be clear, I'm not a size 2, 18 year old model. I'm 34, I've had 2 kids, there has been no retouching to this bod. 

First up was this kind of bohemian, swiss dot dress with gold sequins:
I am not a bohemian kind of lady. The fabric was lovely, & I thought it fit well!
 See here it is on the model. She doesn't look happy. LOL

This golden crane sweater.
 Meh, i'm not really a sweater wearer. I did see it belted on this lady:
I think belting it makes it work! Sadly, the belt was sold out at my Target store. I cried.

A plum satin dress with orchid print:
 On me, the waist fell too high, and was more like an empire than an obi-belt waist. So it really wasn't working.
On the model below, the waist hits perfectly, but that's because she was fitted for this dress for the lookbook:

A black jacquard pencil skirt:
 I liked this. It has a chunky gold exposed zipper in the back. I like the slit. this is a hot look, espesh with my track jacket, lol. But I just don't know where I'm going to wear this. I have a great pencil skirt and I NEVER wear it. Sadsies.
Here it is on the model above, you can see that the fabric has a cool texture. it's a great piece.

This dress... That looks like an oxford shirt & python pencil skirt!
This is pretty rad. I am all about one-piece dressing. If I worked in an office, you could just put this thing on, zip up and GO! It's got the great gold chunky zipper up the side. It's fantastic. I'd love it with the Altuzarra for Target brown waist cinching belt.
 Eva Herzigova is wearing it (above) with a matching blazer that was not available at my store!! boo!

A full python dress:
 I am not a fan of the python print. and this is too much. in a jersey fabric too, yeeeesh, it's just looking too Night at the Roxbury for me. Plus look at the armholes on me compared to Naomie (below) they are so huge on me, that is not a good look
On Naomie Harris (above) the fit is better. it's hitting right above her natural waist, making her leggies look so long. I didn't like how this dress looked empire-waisted on me. I always think of empire being for maternity clothes only.

A red gypsy-chic dress!
 If I was a hippie chick i would be all over this dress, but alas I am not. it's cute, has great detail and nice material, but I just can't.

This red jersey draped dress I loved:
 Dramatic deep-V neckline, the draping on the lower body... it's got a great little belt with fringe on it too, which i think would have been every more gorgeous in a cobalt blue, to give more definition to the waist, because let's face it, the same color and material gets lost visually.
Sorry Naomi, I think i win this one. lol

Lastly, I tried on this sweatshirt with satin front panel:
Why? Who is this flattering on?
Not on Garance Dore (above). She paired the sweatshirt with the jacquard pencil skirt. And why are we all pushing up our sleeves like this? To me, it makes the arm look shorter and the upper arm look wider. Who wants that!?

Anyways, I'm still going to go to a couple more Target stores to try to find the waist belt:
and the olive trench:
If any of you see these items LET ME KNOW!! Tweet me at @readydressedgo !

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Fashion Rocks 2014: Booty vs. Booty

One thing that never ceases to amaze me is when REALLY TALENTED celeb women dress like street crawlers. 
You are BEAUTIFUL, you are GIFTED with the gift of SONG. you don't NEED to dress like this, or show your body gratuitously. But I guess if that's what you want to do, go for it. But you'd be famous anyways. 

So I was super confused when at the *Fashion Rocks* show last night, which is the *Mash-Up* of the *Fashion World* & the *Music World*, Ass is all over my Computer Screen. 

Jennifer Lopez wore an awesome Versace one-legged jumpsuit on the Fashion Rocks red carpet, I mean this is an amazing garment.
Isn't this seckzy and provocative enough? But also having really cool design, and not just resting on the laurels of flesh to shock and awe?

I understand that this below is a "costume", it's stage gear, not real life clothes:
and I don't have an issue with it from this perspective. I just don't think anyone needs to give the world a proctologist's view of their rectum. 

Nicki Minaj on the red carpet, meh. Ho hum.

On stage, Nicki is looking like a girl you'd see in a shady Southfield club (you know the one)
Nicki definitely needs a new stylist, that is obvious.
her new song & video for "Anaconda" are going to get her a babillion video views & people are going to talk about how overtly sexual she is on all the TV shows, magazines, blogs... public eye on overdrive. even though, and this is the honest truth, Anaconda is a REALLY SHITTY SONG. but who cares, we all get to see a lot of ass and her cash just keeps piling up.

So let's class it up ladies. Take a cue from the Queen:
sure Naomi's showed her flawless body in a public forum, but it was in a beautiful artistic graceful way. I know that Ms. Campbell wouldn't lower herself to cheeseball booty-shaking on CBS. Remember, life is a marathon, and don't you want to be remembered as a fabulous elegant person rather than a step above a Hooters girl?
I don't know, you decide.