I'm tall. 5'11"and 3/4 of an inch tall. And those measurements were taken on a *SUPER SCIENTIFIC SCANNER* so you know that shit is for real. That whole story is for another day.
I still need shoes for the Auto Show Gala. And since I am vertically blessed, I have to make sure the heel is low enough to not make my dress into a "tea-length" when I want it "full length". I talked to my stylist friend about the prospective dresses and she said that I should go for a 2 inch heel. A TWO INCH HEEL!!!!!???? THAT'S LIKE WEARING BIRKENSTOCKS!! THE HORROR!!!
We all know a sky-high heel makes your legs look like long, lovely string beans. They change your posture into the most statuesque form. Oh yeah, and I am the World Grand Champion of Wearing Them, so that is my comfort-zone shoe. I like to be 6'6'', I want to have eye-to-eye convos with Kobe Bryant. I just love a heel.
So a 2 incher is making me sad. #thatswhatshesaid
I told my Favie-Favie Girl Teena about this, and she said, "buying a low heel is like buying a *slow Ferrari*" no truer words have ever been spoken. I love her.
So I went shopping, here's what I found.
"No, they are a 4 inch heel." - SalesLady.
OH GOODNESS ME!!! Why couldn't i be 5'4'', just for one day!? Red Satin with a Gold Chrome Heel!!?? SHUT THE HELL UP!! GIT IN MY CLOSET!!
I may just wear a pair of shoes that I made for my sister-in-laws wedding. I just can't spend money on these awful things. I would rather wear an old pair and spend my money later on a MARVELOUS pair of 6.5 inches that make my legs look 30 yards long.